Three years...

It's hard to believe that it has been three years since this day....Where does the time go???

I'm very big on traditions so for the past three years Daniel and I have tried to base our annivserary around the traditional anniversary ideas.

First Year Anniversary- Paper

Daniel's thoughtful gift

With the help of Dad, we made this sign for Daniel that still hangs on our front door

We spent the day in Wichita. Went to Old Town Theatre and watched Toy Story 3 in 3D


Two Year Anniversary- Cotton

We are both huge Nascar fans. We went to Kansas City for our Anniversary.

 We both picked out "cotton" t-shirts.

 

I planned a picnic in the backyard with red "cotton" napkins.

Three year anniversary- Leather (crystal)

Daniel got me a necklace with "crystal beads"

We went to a Redhawks Baseball Game

Daniel loves homemade gifts. I ordered a "leather" Texas Rangers Baseball and wrote all over it for his card. I also got him a leather bookmark for his bible that says "faith".

We ordered cakeballs (the best you will ever eat!!) to celebrate our anniversary. A friend of ours had made these for our wedding so we wanted to include them in our anniversary. (I'm glad we did! Yummy!!)

Our "actual" anniverary day I spent in class for school and then Daniel drove me to Perry so that I could leave with the girls to Fort Worth for Premier!! 

 

It's so hard to believe it has been three years since I married my best friend. I love him so much and I'm so grateful for him. I thank GOD everyday for him. The other day I was talking with my mother in law and we were talking about how things always work out or happen for a reason. We started talking about my journey with the Lord. Like I've said in previous blogs, I didn't grow up going to church, I didn't know much about him, my husband had stopped going to church once he entered high school and I only recently got baptized last summer. I feel that our journey of trying to get pregnant and deciding how to become parents in the past few years has lead us to be closer to the lord. We probably would not have found a church that feels like home or met the amazing people that love us like family. I feel in my heart that if Daniel and I had been able to conceive a few months after getting married we would not be where we are in our faith with God today. Daniel and I often talk about becoming parents and continue to pray. We are hoping to start the process in about two years. I will be finished with school this December and will start looking for a job soon after. Our plan is for me to work for a year and then start looking for a home. After we purchase a home we’ll start the adoption process. Please continue to keep us in your prayers.

 

An' how can two people who built a lovin' home,
Try for years an' never have a child of their own?
When somewhere out there tonight,
There's a baby no-one's holdin' tight:
In need of love.
To me, that don't add up.

But I wasn't there the day you filled up the oceans.
I didn't get to see you hang the stars in the sky.
So I don't mean to second guess you,
Or criticise what I don't understand.
These are just a few questions I have.

Clay Walker

Emotions Emotions....Learning to TRUST...

Spring/Summer 2011
           Daniel and I spent the next several months going back and forth trying to decide if IVF was the route we wanted to take and if "now" was the right time to start. We were still definitely concerned about being approved for the IVF financing and coming up with the additional costs not included. I think that at this point my biggest fear was what if my body didn't accept the egg, we would be out of all that money, we would have no baby after going through the process and how would we be able to go a different route financially. Some days I struggled with knowing that our child wouldn't look like me, people always say "oh your baby look just like you". Daniel looks just like his sister, dad, and grandpa...would our baby look like us?? If we did IVF, it would be someone else's child growing inside of me, how would I feel about that... Daniel talked about how he didn't think it would be fair to me that the child was coming from him and someone else's egg. We talked about how IVF would allow me to experience "pregnancy" and the baby growing inside of me. If we chose not to do IFV neither one of us would ever get to feel our child kick inside my belly or hear the heartbeat. On the other hand we also knew that we would love a child no matter where they came from; whether it is from an egg donor or through adoption. All of these "what ifs" are just tiny road blocks compared to the greater picture "God's gift", but it still hurts knowing that things will be different for us. After many discussions we decided that maybe we should try adoption first. If we adopted before we did IVF (if we did IVF at all) at least we would still have "our" child if IVF didn't work.

I joined Premier in March 2011 to help us out when I'd be in my last semester of school.

How do you adopt? How much does it cost? When do you have to have all the money? Who do you adopt from? What is the process for adoption? How long will we have to wait to get a baby? How do you know what agency is right for you?

           These are just a few of the questions we had and some that we still have about adoption. Rebecca and I talked with a woman about adopting through DHS and their Bridge Foster adoption (if you're fostering a child and they become available for adoption we would have the chance of adopting them first). We were told that trying to adopt an infant through DHS was nearly impossible, the waiting list is so long and that there have been people on the list for YEARS. Our best option would be doing their program Bridge Foster adoption. We would basically have "first dibs" on the child we are fostering if they were to become available for adoption. One downside to their Foster adoption program is that you're not guaranteed that the child would become available for adoption. I had my friend (who use to work for DHS) come over one evening and discuss things we would need to do/change for our homestudy if we wanted to adopt and stay where we are. We were hoping we could stay where we currently live and share a room with an infant for a year so that we could save money after spending money on adoption. After talking about living arrangements it was decided we would need to move from our current home because it is only one bedroom and when adopting you must have a separate room for the child. One positive aspect about adopting through them is that it is completely FREE to the adopting parents. We wouldn't have to pay a thing! One negative aspect is that if we did the foster adoption, the child could be with us for 24 hours to many years and then be given back to their parents. We have given Bridge Foster Adoption a lot of thought. We are definitely open to the idea of this program because we know that if the child was to go back to their parents, we gave them a stable, loving and safe environment while they were with us. If we did this program we would rather do it after we officially have our own child because it's going to be emotionally hard to give up something you want more than anything and be left at square one again, not being parents.

            Towards the end of summer and into the fall of 2011, I started researching different adoption agencies. I talked with a lawyer friend to see if he knew where we should start. I contacted a couple different agencies who sent us packets about their agency. One company, the first thing you do is complete their application and return it with a $100.00 check for the processing fee. Their estimated adoption fee is $17,250.00 and gives a breakdown of costs into three phases. They also included other possible adoption fees: birthmother related living expenses, medical fees, interstate compact, contract work per hour, mileage and travel, and extra legal fees. All fees are due before each service. The other company I contacted is in Colorado. Daniel has two cousins who were adopted from this agency. They included a Fee Schedule that gives a breakdown of the costs totaling $21,031.76 plus they had other possible fees included with a breakdown of the estimating costs. All fees are due as services are approved. They included a financing page; Small Business Job Protection Act of 1996, allows possible Federal Income Tax relief of up to $5,000.00, Bank of America has a Home Equity Loan Program specifically for adoptions, Grant programs are available online, local banks may be able to customize a loan for adoption, some companies will provide assistance to their employees, and some insurance companies let you borrow against an existing policy. They also included a suggested reading list; Lost and Found the Adoption Experience by Betty Jean Lifton, The Whole Life Adoption Book by Jayne E. Schooler, Tell Me a Real Adoption Sotyr by Betty Jean Lifton, Dear Birthmother by Kathleen Silber and Phylis Speedlin, and Adoption without fear. During this time I was introduced via facebook to a girl going through the adoption process with her husband. They had gone with a company that had an all-inclusive fee of $30,000. The process would be no more or no less than the $30,000.

My best friend, Rebecca

Spring 2012
Will we be able to come up with that kind of money? How long will it take us to save the money for adoption? Who do we go with? What agency is right for us?

           Those are questions that only GOD knows the answers to. It's hard not knowing the answers, knowing when it's going to happen and letting go and giving full control to GOD. I joke around and say GOD knew that I'm not good with pain so he has other plans for me to become a mother. I've put my faith into GOD and just continue to pray that he will lead us into the right direction, give me patience to not worry about our situation, help others to understand our situation and not pressure us into things we are not ready for, and help us be more financially responsible. Daniel and I recently started a Dave Ramsey class at our church, my best friend and I have talked about doing some fundraisers or bake sales once Daniel and I have decided what company to go with and when we are ready to take the next big step in this process. I continue to pray all the time. Daniel and I are waiting to start any adoption process until I've finished school in December 2012 and when we move so that we can have our Home Study completed. Please continue to pray for GOD to give us direction, patience and be more financially responsible with our money so that we can make our dreams of giving a child a loving home and becoming their parents.

Easter 2012

Going forward with things...

Jan 4th, 2011 could not get here fast enough! We didn't tell anyone that we were going because we wanted more details and see how things turned out first. Dr. K was as nice as we remembered. We talked about how we were ready to start the process and Dr. K discussed what would happen next. He said that the next step was for me to have an HSG done, Daniel would need to be checked out, and we would attend an IVF class that would provide us with a breakdown of the money and how IVF works, I'd need to be checked out again, have more blood work done and then we would need to meet with his partner. He made us feel so comfortable and again reassured us that he could help make our dreams of becoming parents true. We ended up telling some family members about us going back to the doctor before we made it to our next appointment.

My grandma holding me

Before we could make it to the next appointment I got one of the worst phone calls of my life. It was Friday January 7th, 2011 on my lunch break, I had been at Wal-Mart shopping for last minute stocking gifts for Daniel because we were celebrating Christmas that weekend with his family when his brother in law finally got back to town from work. I got in my car and checked my phone, my mom had sent me a text that led me to call her asap...my mom's mother, my grandma had passed away in her dining room. My whole world stopped at that moment. The next several days I spent with family dealing with the shock. My mom is one of eight children and they all came together at my grandma's home. We spent the days and nights trying to figure out why she was gone, telling stories, looking at photos, sharing laughs and tears. Saying goodbye to her was one of the hardest things I've had to do. She had been a major part of my life growing up. Every chance I got I was with her. I spent weekends, holidays and summers at my grandma's house. As I started high school and got a job my visits became less frequent, which makes it really hard now that she is gone. I will have some of the best memories of my life with her...we made doll clothes, a special quilt, did all kinds of crafts, loved going to car shows, planting flowers, fishing, camping, driving around after it had rained to see all the floods, getting stuck in water from a flood, looking for rocks, going for drives out in the country, grandma teaching me to drive (that’s where I get my lead foot), going in abandon houses, watching life time movies, golden girls, designing woman, talking about our dreams, taking naps on the hammock, sun bathing behind the garage, grandparents day at my work, my bachelorette party, my wedding, Alan Jackson Concert and surprising grandma with my finished quilt. It's hard to think that my child will never get to meet my grandma, one of the most important persons in my life. I always imagined when Daniel and I had kids that they would get to enjoy spending time with my grandma like I did. They will definitely know how great she was and how much I loved her.

She loved Daniel, she called him Sweething!

My NOC graduation

At my bridal shower

Grandma and I right before the wedding

On Jan 11th Daniel and I went to OKC to have my HSG done, have him tested and attend the IVF class. HSG stands for hysterosalpingogram- is an outpatient procedure, it involves placing an iodine-based dye through the cervix and taking x-rays that shows the doctor the shape of your uterus and if your fallopian tubes are blocked or open. I had no idea what to expect going in to have this procedure, the week before at the office all my doctor said was that he was prescribing me two sedatives to help relax me for the procedure and I was to take them one hour before. When we arrived Daniel went to do his testing done and I waited in the lobby of outpatient procedures while they figured out when to do my procedure because for some reason it didn't get put in the schedule. They rescheduled it for later in the afternoon- which stunk because I had already taken my sedatives but they said I should be fine. I waited for Daniel to let him know what had happened and we decided to go have lunch before. After lunch we waited for what seemed like forever....I was so sleepy. Once we were back in the room I felt a little more relaxed once I knew my doctor was the one who would be doing my HSG and that Daniel would get to hold my hand during it. Let me just say that once it started I screamed, cried and almost came up off that table. It was the most painful thing I had experienced. It hurt worse than the catheter I had when I had my appendix taken out. After it was over my doctor held my hand and said that was the worst thing he would ever do to me and he thought everything looked good. He said the next step would be to discuss Daniel's results when they came back, do blood work on me and another exam. Then we would be ready to meet with his partner and wouldn't meet with him again until we actually found a donor match and started the IVF process. Later that day we attended the IVF class. They gave us an IVF checklist with steps for the whole process, a breakdown of each process, financial obligations, explanation of costs, consent and release forms, and information about saving left over embryos, risk factors, a power point presentation and information on a program that offers financial packages.
The explanation of costs explained that we would pay in three separate checks (just an estimate):
1. $6,000 to the hospital that would go towards medications, Lab tests, embryo culture, lab fees, office procedures and O.R./Recovery room. (This would not cover our total bill from the hospital; we would be billed for the remaining amount)
2. Payment to our doctor
3. Anesthesiologist fees.  

Then each of those is broken down with a totally estimated cost of about 10k. The actual cost of the program may vary because every patient is different and unforeseen factors may increase the cost- additional medications, ultrasounds and estradiol blood draws could add to the unforeseen factors. With me being in menopause I was one of those unforeseen factors. I don't have eggs so we would go through another process of finding a donor and removing her eggs and then starting the actually IVF process. Not only would I need to have additional steps before starting the IVF process that would add to the cost, using a donor adds to the cost and makes the total go up more because they will pay for her medical costs and pay her as well. These are the extra factors that made my doctor say that the process would cost us more.

After sitting through the class we felt like the class did not give us information we needed/wanted. The class focused more on couples using their own eggs and sperm. We didn't get a checklist for couples using a donor, the process or an estimated breakdown of the cost for that. I did call the number they provided us with for the financial packages that are offered. They gave me information over the phone and sent us a package with more information. The lady on the phone said that they had different packages we could select from. The packages have an interest rate of anywhere from 5.9-17.9% rate, you could qualify for up to $40,000 and it would need to be paid for within 24-84 months depending on what you qualify for- she said they factor in credit score, 3 years of established credit, no bankruptcy and debt ratio. The money would be sent directly to your doctor. Things not offered in the package would be medication, donor conception, donor insurance and I can't remember if anything else was included because that was over a year ago that I talked with her. She did send me an email about 6 months ago, just checking up on us because she hadn't heard from me (that was very nice of her, made me feel like she cares about the patients she works with). She mentioned a refund package that is an extra $9k and said more information on this would be included in the packet she would be sending. She also mentioned that we would need to have a specific amount we wanted to try to qualify for. The refund package gave us some hope that if IVF didn't work we would get our money back and we could maybe try again or go a different route. The information in the packet they sent provided us with the different packages they offer, an informational packet and refund application. My understanding of the refund program is that if at the end of all services you don't have a baby you will be refunded your money except for the cost of the refund program. If you had any key factors they had listed you would not qualify for the refund package. We had concerns with what the packages didn't include, how we would pay for what it didn't include and not qualifying for the refund package.

These two have made it a little easier...

Our next visit to OKC we found out that Daniel's results were great, they did more blood work on me and we made our appointment to meet my doctor's partner.

His partner was very nice and answered many of the questions that we asked/remembered to ask. We did ask about a specific amount so we would know what to ask for when we applied for a financial package. He told us how we would meet with his assistant who would then start the process of finding us a donor and would be able to answer our questions about the breakdown of the cost. He said they don't just pick anyone to be a donor; they have to go through physical and psychological tests. He wanted to test my thyroid. He talked about me being in menopause and things that I would need to do to help my body. After we talked with him we walked across the hall to schedule our appointment with his assistant. His assistant was out of the office so they gave us her name and number and told us to call back the following week (Spring 2011). We've never made that phone call...

Trying to Understand

2009 Christmas- Pregnancy Journal, Pat the Bunny book and baby Christmas socks

(Spring 2010)
Everyday life, trying to understand and all the questions made the next year really difficult. One of the hardest things to cope with was going to work every day while being around teenage mothers, pregnant teenagers who smoked and seeing some parents who didn't seem to care about their children. It was also hard to put on a smile knowing that most were receiving assistance while our taxes helped them and then we'd have to turn around and pay a ridiculous amount of money for us to have our own child. I guess you could say that I was too negative, at least that is what my boss had told me a couple months right before I quit. I remember coming home from work one day, walking up to the door, crying while on the phone with my mom- I wanted to know why this had happened to me. I didn't understand why because I had been the good kid in high school, I had always done what she said, I didn't sneak out, I didn't drink and drive or do drugs, I didn't let boys pressure me, and I didn't sleep around. I had done what I was supposed to so why was I not able to have kids. I just didn't understand things. It was very hard to go to work every day and see pregnant teenagers and pregnant teens smoking. Having children is so special why would someone want to chance harming their child by smoking or drinking while being pregnant or not taking care of their children. Day after day I put on a smile when parents would bring in their children while my heart was being ripped out. So yes my attitude was probably negative like my boss said. My attitude continued to change when someone who had supported me and given me advice about not being able to get pregnant over the last few months eventually told me that they kept another employees pregnancy a secret because she didn't want to upset me and that she told her to think about having an abortion because she was going to ruin her life (She was so wrong because that sweet boy is that greatest thing that ever happened to my friend!)-that broke my heart and caused my attitude to change. All I could think about is how she could tell someone that in the first place and how could she tell someone that knowing I just found out I couldn't get pregnant, it felt like a slap in the face. The words that came out of her mouth in the office that day is what changed our friendships and working environment and led me to quit the following year.

Daniel making me breakfast 10/08

My NOC graduation 2008

Over the next several months there was not a day that went by that I didn't think about our situation. I spent a lot of time crying and asking why. I wanted to know when we would know that it was the right time to start In Vetro Fertilization. Let’s face it- I'm female, I'm a planner and I wanted to know when and how this was going to work out. Everyone kept saying "you'll never be financially ready to have kids" "you should just start the process now" "when are you going to start". Ummm hello as I said in my last blog, my doctor said it would be about 21k, that didn't include doctor visits, medicine, ultra sounds, and a few other things before getting pregnant. Who the heck has twenty-one thousand dollars sitting around to have a baby? Seriously, that is what it's going to cost JUST TO GET PREGNANT and must be paid in full! After we get pregnant we would have doctor bills and hospital bills that could be paid out. I worried what if we had more than one baby with IVF because the odds are a lot higher, how would we be able to afford to move after we just spent twenty plus thousand dollars to have a baby and where would the twenty thousand dollars come from because we are not the best at saving money.

Daniel with Lilly

Me with both my lazy kids.

Andie's first visit to Petco in Stillwater right before we took our engagement photos.

The next half of the year we celebrated our one year anniversary, went camping with friends, I got to teach preschool, celebrated birthdays, Lauren was blessed with Madden, Daniel's best friend and his brother married their girlfriends, took our cousin's to a baseball game, found the best church, Nascar vacation and so much more- the whole time being surrounded by great kids. We loved every minute with them while we continued to struggle emotionally with not being able to have children, still not understanding why. I had people telling me scriptures and stories from the bible about women having children who thought they couldn't. I didn't grow up in a family that went to church; I just went occasionally with friends. I wanted to know more about these scriptures and stories so that maybe I could understand why us and have some hope. Daniel and I started trying out different churches. As soon as we walked in the doors at Agape and seen the welcoming smile on Mrs. H's face we knew this was the place for us and have been back ever since! The people in this church have been a second family to us. One of my parents from the center introduced me to a woman via facebook, who went through IVF with her husband and they were blessed with their little girl. We've been able to talk about IVF, adoption, and our feelings. Yes, it’s nice to have your friends and family to talk to when you’re going through something like this but they don't understand 100% if they've never gone through what you're going through. Having her to talk to has made this a little easier and helped me to know that I'm not crazy for all the questions and feelings I have....and I've got a great Scentsy lady! :-) and for the record if you're pregnant and afraid to tell me because you’re afraid you'll hurt my feelings, DON'T- because what hurts more is when you're supposed to be my friend and you don't tell me- I will be happy for you and can't wait to meet your little one because I know that GOD has something great for Daniel and I. It will work out for us when his time is right, not ours! (I actually just realized that, this past year 2011, from doing our bible studies and having the support of our family and church family. God has definitely helped me work on my attitude.)

The look on grandma's face was the best gift!

When I was in grade school we made the top
piece together. For Christmas, Daniel wanted
to have someone finish the quilt for us.
This is the first time she had seen it since grade
school and the first I'd seen it since it was
finished. We opened it together and she loved it!

As the 2010 holidays approached Daniel and I started talking more and more about having children. We were tired of seeing pregnant people everywhere we went. I don't know about the other mothers out there but when you're trying to get pregnant it seems like every female on the earth is pregnant but you. It's very emotional to deal with especially when you need help getting pregnant. We thought maybe everyone was right when they said "you'll never be financially ready to have children", maybe we should just go for it and start the process before I was finished with school. We spent many nights talking about pros and cons and me getting frustrated because Daniel would always say "I don't know" to every question I asked. By mid December we finally decided we wanted to go for it. We had no idea how it would work or how we would pay for it. All we did know is that we wanted to have a baby and would do whatever we needed to make this happen, even if we would be in debt at the end. I called Dr. K's office and made the first available appointment, Jan 4, 2011. Now we just had to get through the holidays...

Life changing news...

Starting a family right after marriage just seems like the next step in your relationship. But for Daniel and I, it wasn't just about it "being the next step" it was about the longing desire to become parents, especially when at one time I was told I had a 60% chance of having children.

Daniel 9/13                                Chelsey 4/12

I had only been on my cycle for about two years when it just stopped all of a sudden when I started my seventh grade year. My mom took me to a few doctors; they ran tests and couldn't find anything wrong with me. They just said "we don't know why you stopped" "just enjoy this time, it will probably come back in a couple years". So I spent about the next six years being free of any female monthly problems. When I started college I went to the OU medical center to have things checked out once again. They couldn't explain why I still hadn't started and said I had a 60% chance of having children. I was put on a certain type of birth control. Soon after that my cycle started and I was on my cycle for 7 days and then off for 10 days (which was very exhausting). A year later I went to my doctor in town and was put on regular birth control (thank god I had a normal cycle after that) and he said he didn't see why I wouldn't be able to conceive since I was having my cycle. After that, getting pregnant wasn't so much of a concern anymore. Of course it was always in the back of my mind...

Daniel and I had always talked about wanting to wait till I was finished with school to have children. Months leading up to the wedding we talked more and more about wanting to start trying to conceive...just in case it took longer or we had trouble. So after we were finally Mr. and Mrs. I went to my doctor to have things checked out once again so that we could start trying. Three months of being off birth control and trying to have a baby didn't get us anywhere. So I went back to my doctor he gave me some pills and told me to take the pill so many days before we tried again. We did this for a month and still no luck. So we went back and he said that we could try the pill again for another month or there was a test we could run to check stuff out but it was expensive to do. I told him that I knew my body and that I knew the pill would not make a difference and I wanted to do the test that day. So they took some blood from me and sent it off. He said they should know in a couple days. I remember being at work when I got the call...my blood work had come back and said that my hormone levels were not normal and indicated that I was in pre-menopause. He wanted to test me again because he thought the test was wrong. So I went back the following week and we did it again. A couple days later....same results. At this point I was so devastated. Having children was something I had always dreamed about...I've had names picked out since I can remember! My doctor and nurse assured me that there was this great, wonderful, amazing specialist, Dr. K in OKC that has helped many couples like us. So we made the first available appointment with him. I asked my mother in law to go with us the day of the appointment in case there were questions to be asked or something we didn't understand.  It seemed like we were at his office ALL day long. Dr. K asked about my medical history, did a pap, a vaginal video, and a couple more things and then sent us to his office and asked us to wait for him. I had never been sent to a doctor’s actual "office" so it was a bit intimidating. Daniel's mom waited in the office with us. When he came in he confirmed that I was in menopause (this is when the tears came and didn't stop until we got home), I had probably been in menopause since seventh grade when my cycles stopped, there was nothing I did nor was there anything I could have done to prevent my situation, he gave us statistics of women my age in menopause, said I would need to be on medication for the menopause and that yes getting pregnant was still possible for me. Although getting pregnant was still an option for me, I had NO eggs and would never produce anymore. This meant that they would find me donor eggs, test my hubby, do more extensive tests on me to make sure my body could carry a child, and of course it would take lots of $$. Basically we would be doing IVF but they would have to find a donor and it would cost a little more $$ for that. He said that the process was about 21k, that didn't include doctor visits, medicine, ultra sounds, and a few other things. He tried reassuring us of the situation, this wasn't our only option (meaning adoption was an option) and gave us more information. We scheduled some follow up appointments with him so that they could do blood work and give me my medications for the menopause. As we left the office I remember standing in the parking garage hugging Daniel and crying. Dr. K said that when we were ready to proceed we would come back for tests, take a class to get more information on the process and breakdown of the $$. We were very comfortable with Dr. K and felt like this was the route we wanted to take.Daniel and I talked and talked about so many different situations...yes adoption was an option and one that we were totally open to, how would we afford to pay for IVF because insurance does not cover any of it and it must all be paid before they place the eggs inside of you, what if we had more than one child, how could we afford having more than one child with such an expensive procedure and then trying to buy a house instead of living in our one bedroom house with all the medical bills, how would it affect us- me basically carrying someone else's child, and many more questions.  I was scheduled to be finished with school about a year from then and we decided that we would wait to start any type of process until I finished school (as many of you know, almost two years later and I'm still in school).  

At this point (End of Spring 2010) we were ok with our decision. Now, that doesn't mean that the next year wasn't hard because it was a roller coaster of emotions, questions, "what if's", etc... and a decision that led us back to Dr. K sooner then we had planned...



Married life so far...  

Daniel took me to Sea World for our honeymoon! LOVED it!

We took my grandma to see her favorite singer, Alan Jackson!

First Christmas as Mr. and Mrs. Wilks

Snow ball fights with the boys

 Finally we made a snowman!



Daniel took me to a Redhawks baseball game for my birthday.

Daniel and Preston while we were camping

Preston with Andie while we watched the fireworks.

Ashlynn and Preston waiting for fireworks.

Tate and Carson at the Redhawks game we took them to.

Cooper and Ashton at the game.

Cooper and I at the game.

We made it one year!!!

Baby Madden was born and what a blessing he has been for Lauren!

 

I got to love on these precious babies everyday for a year!

 

Carson watching tv with Andie

Preston's Birthday!!

We got a new sister in law, Abbey

Our neice, Bethanie graduated high school and started college!

We celebrated Wes and Ape getting married!

Wes and Daniel at the reception..any time Daniel is with his siblings or Wes he acts strange :-)

First Nascar race in Texas!! Awesome!!

Daniel at Texas Motor Speedway.

Cookout for Daniel and Rebecca's birthday

We got a kitten!!! Lilly

We said goodbye to my grandma, 1-7-11

I joined Premier in March 2011!

Nascar in Kansas!

We made it two years!!!

My baptism! A new beginning!!!

My amazing church family at my baptism! I love all of them!!

Rebecca and Daniel's birthday celebration. (They are a day apart)

Daniel opening his gift that Preston picked out!

Daniel and I camping with our friends.

Preston and I on the boat!

Preston's hermit crabs we got him for his birthday! :-)

Christmas 2011

Preston opening his gift.

Me holding baby Caden (Melissa's new baby) Happy New Year!!!

Marriage has been great. We have certainly had quite an adventure so far. We've gained new family members and said goodbye to others, had awesome time with friends, celebrated birthdays, welcomed new babies to the world, quit my job as the preschool teacher, working on two bachelor degrees, took two Nascar vacations, found a church that we LOVE, we had a few baptisms in our pool (including mine), and struggled to get pregnant. We've probably gone through one of the hardest things that we will ever go through that has made us stronger and closer as a couple...trying to have a family, which will lead me to my next blog.